Struggles in Life

By Ernie, Age 13  

Kids, especially during their teenage years, go through struggles. These struggles can go on for days, weeks, months and even years. As for me, I have had constant struggles throughout the entire millennium so far, and they have not ceased. My struggles have been tough, but have ultimately made me a better person, and have helped me decide what kind of adult I will be in the future.

My struggles began literally the first day of 2000. I had gone to Ohio to celebrate the New Year with relatives. My mom and three-year-old sister accompanied me on the trip. The vacation went well, and when I returned home on January 2, 2000. I was in high spirits. I wasn’t that way for long several hours after returning from Ohio, I found out the devastating news – my parents were separated for several months when I was a toddler and had reconciled. However, I was wrong. VERY wrong.

My parents ended up divorcing in 2002, and although it seemed as if they were getting along, I knew that this wasn’t exactly what it seemed. Although I knew this, I still envisioned my parents getting remarried someday. That all changed when my dad began dating Sarah. Sarah was a very nice lady, also divorced, who had two sons, John and Bert. John was my age, only eight months older, while Bert was about seven years older. When Sarah and John moved in with my dad in early 2002, I was thrilled. It felt as if I had the brother I had always wanted. Things didn’t stay that way for long. Over time, John and my friendship changed. I felt that he was getting more and more annoying, and more and more possessive of my dad. I grew very jealous and resentful, and everything hit rock bottom for me when I heard John call my dad, “Dad’” I was furious. I hated to go over my dad’s house. I told my dad that I wanted Sarah and John to leave, although Sarah had done nothing wrong to me, but I knew that Sarah and John could not be separated. After all this, I was ecstatic when Sarah and John were gone in late October, 2002.

2003 was the best year of the new millennium for me, but in April of 2004, my life started to go downhill. I was in a play, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. My parents disagreed about a schedule of who would pick me and my sister up, when they stopped speaking. For three long months, I did not see my father, including several special occasions. It was awful.

I started seeing my dad again during July, 2004. Everything was okay, but my dad would not speak to my mom due to his anger at her. I was stuck relaying messages from parent to parent. My mom could not contact my dad, because he has his phone number changed to one that she did not know. She was stuck sending messages through me, too, and she hated it with a passion.

December 2004 began what was to be the worst year of my life. Sarah and John were back, and all the lies, stubbornness and selfishness, as well as the unkept promises began. No longer did it seem like my sister and I mattered to him. He kept telling us that Sarah and John would never replace us, and that he loved his family more than them. He lied. I figured he was making my life miserable on purpose, especially since he knew that my sister and I hated them living with him, and he did NOTHING about it. We thought he would, since he had always told us the truth and had even said that if we were uncomfortable with Sarah and John there, which they would have to go. In early 2005, they moved in with him, which drove me insane. I wrote letters to him, to which he said that I can’t have everything. I got all on the defensive, defending his actions. He knew he was wrong though. I just know he did.

Things got so bad for me that I hated my life. I wanted to die. I had even threatened to kill myself, in a letter that I never sent. I was that miserable. However, my grandmother, who is a born-again Christian, helped me. As I result, I too, became a born-again Christian.

Over time, things improved by little. I was learning to deal with my anger and being miserable, but that didn’t make it go away. I was still angry at my dad. My family was agreeing with me, too. They agreed he was being selfish, inconsiderate, and insensitive, especially since he wasn’t speaking to any of them anymore either. I realize that he loved Sarah, but I also know that you should not change your attitude towards everyone else, because it will jeopardize your relationship. Furthermore, my Nana died.

I am still trying to make my life better. I know that I will have good times and bad times, and I just have to deal with them. I think that struggles are good though, because they help you grow as a person.