Entry 5 - Fall 2005

"The average person thinks he isn’t” Father Larry Lorenzoni

I like this quote because I think it’s true. It’s especially evident in adolescence/teenage years/high school. Everyone thinks he’s misunderstood, that no one could possibly begin to know what he’s going through. I consider myself unaverage, which, according to Lorenzoni, makes me average.

I am misunderstood.

You know the typical girly-girl best friend stay up ‘til three doing makeovers, painting toenails and watching My Best Friend’s Wedding? I don’t have that. I have no one to confide in, no one to pass notes to in class, no one to share “inside jokes” with because there’s just me and that means no inside. If I laughed out loud at something I said, people would think I was either schizophrenic or conceited. But I’m just lonely and that’s worse.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m no pariah. I have good friends and lots of acquaintances and I have fun. I don’t sit home every Friday night; tonight is just…a special case. And I’m not depressed or anything. But it would still be nice to have a “best friend."

The problem with high school friendships is that you can’t judge people on their Barbie lunchboxes anymore. You have to look at their references: what they do on the weekends, what their other friends are like, how cute the guys they know are, etc. etc. etc. And in high school, you also have to take into account the “best friends for life let’s go to the same college and have children at the same time and then they can be best friends.”

It’s difficult. But maybe someday I’ll find someone who can split the pint of Ben and Jerry’s with me. Until then, I’ll happily take on the extra calories.